Welcome to Inverness

Who Said What about Inverness

Capital of the Scottish Highlands 

Some of our Londoners, when they hear of Inverness, and that it is more than a hundred miles beyond Aberdeen, will perhaps think it the very outskirts of creation, and that to be condemned to live there would be worse than being sent to Botany Bay: but let me tell such Cockneys, that there is scarcely an article, good, bad or indifferent, to be found in London, but it is to be found here also, excepting watchmen and patroles, of which, fortunately, there is no need."...The Rev. James Hall, A.M. London Travels in Scotland by an Unusual Route With A Trip to the Orkneys and Hebrides containing Hints for Improvements in Agriculture and Commerce, with Characters and Anecdotes,Printed for J. Johnson, St. Paul's Churchyard, ©1807

The River Ness by night, proclaiming in neon the worst taste in Tartan Tourism.

The River Ness by night, proclaiming in neon the worst taste in Tartan Tourism.

The Awesome Caledonian Canal, Inverness

The Awesome Caledonian Canal, Inverness


..their bone and muscle dug for twenty years, the Navigable road, built Telford’s locks, for half-pennies-an-hour; 

Across a sea to wives and children planting blighted fields it seemed a fortune, such their poverty.

Beside the channel they reamed-out, these men ‘the navigators’ - ate, slept, year by year in sodden benders formed from hazel boughs, ...which thin, mean, mizzling rain invaded as it drenched their sweat-rank clothes.

— FROM THE POEM Ascending Neptune's Staircase by Ian Blake, published in The Story of Loch Ness, © Katharine Stewart, Luath Press Ltd., Edinburgh, 2005. www.luath.co.uk
Frosty River Ness Caledonian Canal

I am very glad to have seen the Caledonian Canal, but don't want to see it again.....Matthew Arnold, Letter to his wife, 11 September 1882

Recreational boating on the Caledonian Canal

Recreational boating on the Caledonian Canal

St. Andrews Church Inverness
River Ness and Inverness by night

River Ness and Inverness by night

They have also much of the English Way of Living among them, as well in their Manner of Dress and Customs, as also of their Eating and Drinking, and even of their Dressing and Cookery, which we found here much more agreeable to English Stomachs than in other Parts of Scotland; all which, and several other Usages and Customs, they retain from the settling of Three Regiments of English Soldiers here, after they were disbanded, and who had, at least many of them, their Wives and Children with them..
— Daniel Defoe - A Tour through the Whole Island of Great Britain © 1724-27

Inverness stands squarely across the land route and cannot be avoided, which is a reason for its great material success as a town. There are communities which make their money the hard way and others which are happier in that they can just sit and take toll.... And it has been usefully so from the Inverness point of view right through the ages. ————SCOTLAND: THE LAND AND THE PEOPLE, © Donald Cowie, 1973 by A.S. Barnes and Company, Cranbury, NJ and London: Thomas Yoseloff Ltd., London ISBN 0-498-01169-0

I will arise now, and go to Inverness,
And a small villa rent there, of lath and plaster built;
Nine bedrooms will I have there, and I’ll don my native dress,
And walk around in a damned loud kilt. 
And I will have some sport there, when grouse come driven slow,
Driven from purple hill-tops to where the loaders quail;
While midges bite their ankles, and shots are flying low,
And the air is full of the grey-hen’s tail.

— Captain Harry Graham, The Cockney of the North, The Motley Muse, ©1913

Inverness was a Saxon colony among the Celts, a hive of traders and artisans in the midst of a population of loungers and plunderers, a solitary outpost of civilisation in a region of barbarians. Though the buildings covered but a small part of the space over which they now extend; though the arrival of a brig in the port was a rare event; though the Exchange was the middle of a miry street, in which stood a market cross much resembling a broken milestone; though the sittings of the municipal council were held in a filthy den with a roughcast wall...Though the best houses were such as would now be called hovels; though the best roofs were of thatch; though the best ceilings were of bare rafters; though the best windows were, in bad weather, closed with shutters for want of glass; though the humbler dwellings were mere heaps of turf, in which barrels with the bottoms knocked out served the purpose of chimneys; yet to the mountaineer of the Grampians this city was as Babylon or as Tyre….Nowhere else had he seen four or five hundred houses, two churches, twelve malt-kilns, crowded close together. Nowhere else had he been dazzled by the splendour of rows of booths, where knives, horn spoons, tin kettles, and gaudy ribands were exposed to sale. Nowhere else had he been on board one of those huge ships which brought sugar and wine over the sea from countries far beyond the limits of his geography. ——T.B. Macaulay, History of England, 1849-61

I regret to say that I could never live in Inverness because of two sensationally ugly modern office buildings that stand by the central bridge and blot the business district beyond any hope of redemption.. I...was positively riveted with astonishment to realize than an entire town could be ruined by two inanimate structures. Everything about them - scale, materials, shape, design - was madly inappropriate to the surrounding scene. They weren't just ugly and large but so ill-planned that you could actually walk around them at least twice without ever identifying the main entrance....It was awful, awful beyond words...NOTES FROM A SMALL ISLAND, An Affectionate Portrait of Britain by BILL BRYSON, William Morrow and Company, Inc. New York, ©1995 by Bill Bryson, ISBN 0-688-14725-9

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