LOCH NESS & NESSIEMANIA

Saint Columcille (Columba) was the first human to spot the old triple humper they call "Nessie." In  565 A.D. he came from Ireland to Inverness, Scotland with the mission of converting the heathen  Pictish chieftains to Christianity. While the Saint was out for a contemplative walk along the shores  of the River Ness, a monster rushed up with a great roar and opened his horrible mouth at him. Or so that's how Saint Adamnan described Saint Columba's face-off with the Loch Ness Monster, and  there's been a hullabaloo over the 10,000 odd reported Nessie sitings ever since. And with the sitings, marine biology expeditions to plumb the cold dark peaty depths of Loch Ness—all 24-miles and 975-feet deep of the largest lake/loch in Britain. 

 One odd Loch Ness Monster publicity stunt was organized by the BBC - not the British Broadcasting  Corporation, but the British Bacon Curers federation! This odd BBC exploited the Loch Ness monster  mania by sponsoring a young Englishman to float over Loch Ness in a hot air balloon -- trailing a  humongous hunk of cured ham as bait!!! 

...that extraordinary Loch Ness which, in this day and age, has consistently made money out of a monster which has never been seen. ...So people have taken photographs of lines of dark ripples on Loch Ness and claimed that they have seen a survivor of primeval times, an immense creature of the ocean depths who somehow or other became landlocked in Ness. They do not explain how and where his ancestors reproduced themselves. But such ‘sightings” have always made a good newspaper story in the silly season and have brought money to souvenir huts around the Loch and to local hotels..
— SCOTLAND: THE LAND AND THE PEOPLE © Donald Cowie, 1973 by A.S. Barnes and Company, Cranbury, NJ and London: Thomas Yoseloff Ltd., London ISBN 0-498-01169-0
Nessieland Castle
BEAUTIFUL LOCH NESS

Beautiful Loch Ness
The truth to express 
Your scenery is romantic
With rocks and hills gigantic
Enough to make one frantic. 

Oh beautiful Loch Ness!
I must sincerely confess
That you are most beautiful to behold
With your lovely landscape and water so cold.


— William Topaz McGonagall, deemed Scotland's - and the world's - worst poet, writing on Loch Ness, c. 1890
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You have to hand it to the Loch Ness sea monster for spawning a whole industry of tourist cruises,  books, docu-dramas, websites, bookmaker's bets, and uproarious postcards, tee-shirts and fridge  magnets. Not to speak of the hundred of silly videos on YouTube – one done with marionettes, a la Jules Verne  submarine technology is quite hilarious, showing the monster to be mechanical – not the first movie  to show it that way! But, you ask, is this Nessie stuff all just taradiddle? Or are there really creatures resembling a  Plesiosaurus that have survived in Britain's largest fresh water body since the Last Ice Age? Loch Ness gets the all monster publicity, but that 565 A.D. siting of Nessiteras rhombopteryx -  "Nessie" - was actually on the River Ness, where King David I some centuries later founded the  Royal Burgh that grew into the scenic city of Inbhir Nis, capital of the Scottish Highlands.

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If you go to Loch Ness

LOCH NESS